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Saturday 14 September 2013

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Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

by some people... / 09/19/2013 at 1:35am / United States / Work

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

by drunkenloser / 09/20/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Health

Today, I went to my insurance company to deal with some paperwork. One of their employees backed into my car before I made it into the building. FML

by Sean / 09/09/2013 at 5:04pm / United States / Money

Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

by zachadams / 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 3:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

by -.- / 09/20/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my enjoyment of popping bubble wrap was yet again ruined by my excessive OCD tendencies. FML

by BarryShitpeas / 09/19/2013 at 11:18am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health

Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have replace my $120 calculator. FML

by Stupid / 09/18/2013 at 4:46am / United States (Missouri) / Money

Today, I offered to help out at my grandpa's farm, and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk. When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket, he sneered, called me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck, and told me to just go home. FML

by fuckwank / 09/20/2013 at 4:31pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

by crushed / 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

by SadFace / 09/12/2013 at 8:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous