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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45962) - you deserved it (3502)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

#20870923
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42576) - you deserved it (2900)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by areyoukiddingme - United States

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

#20871127
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50237) - you deserved it (3242)

On 09/07/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

#20878650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45959) - you deserved it (4160)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by WTF - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

#20879598
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (6465)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39366) - you deserved it (3111)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54509) - you deserved it (4580)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54996) - you deserved it (6994)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

#20869277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37775) - you deserved it (3227)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by WritesTooWell - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

#20871062
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41786) - you deserved it (5197)

On 09/07/2013 at 4:22am - kids - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, I was prank called yet again by someone asking for a game that was released over 10 years ago. The store I work at only sells modern titles, and I angrily slammed the phone down. My boss saw and fired me on the spot. FML

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

#20874228
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45295) - you deserved it (4891)

On 09/09/2013 at 8:46am - love - by Renagirl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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