Choose the period

Saturday 7 September 2013

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

by 181999 / 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm / United States (Vermont) / Love

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

by Anonyme / 09/06/2013 at 7:56am / France (Basse-Normandie) / Kids

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 7:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Kids

Today, I started my new internship at a vet clinic. By the end of the day I had: been peed on, scratched, forced to stuff a dead dog into a plastic bag, thrown up and almost passed out. I need to rethink my future career. FML

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

by depressed / 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

by smurftastic / 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

by WTF / 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

by PartTimePrincess / 09/10/2013 at 10:56am / United States / Money

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 1:14am / United States (North Carolina) / Work