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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

#20871127
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46528) - you deserved it (2743)

On 09/07/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

#20878650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40958) - you deserved it (3493)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by WTF - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

#20879598
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37587) - you deserved it (6034)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43546) - you deserved it (4782)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50772) - you deserved it (3932)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

#20881196
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17968) - you deserved it (45053)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm - love - by 181999 - United States (Vermont)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49628) - you deserved it (6299)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

#20874228
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41982) - you deserved it (4526)

On 09/09/2013 at 8:46am - love - by Renagirl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I got my wedding photos back from my sister, a "professional" photographer who offered to do our wedding as a gift. It turns out that not only did she not catch most of the ceremony or reception, but all of the outdoor photos feature a large garbage bag in the background. FML

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

#20869277
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35573) - you deserved it (3011)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by WritesTooWell - United States (Florida)

Today, I was prank called yet again by someone asking for a game that was released over 10 years ago. The store I work at only sells modern titles, and I angrily slammed the phone down. My boss saw and fired me on the spot. FML



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