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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41578) - you deserved it (6511)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50494) - you deserved it (5897)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40312) - you deserved it (6118)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49672) - you deserved it (5676)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42028) - you deserved it (3091)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32042) - you deserved it (2948)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43754) - you deserved it (5320)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

#20877588
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46144) - you deserved it (2520)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm - work - by icanteven - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41880) - you deserved it (6818)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44170) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35053) - you deserved it (2611)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44834) - you deserved it (2680)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

#20870923
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42337) - you deserved it (2883)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by areyoukiddingme - United States



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