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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36731) - you deserved it (6055)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

#20869383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52973) - you deserved it (3660)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by whatjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

#20871260
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48262) - you deserved it (4050)

On 09/07/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by ...thanks (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42646) - you deserved it (2578)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

#20878205
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54813) - you deserved it (3869)

On 09/12/2013 at 10:44am - love - by whyme (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

#20878703
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60735) - you deserved it (6355)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by Crazy Crazy Crazy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40875) - you deserved it (3013)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

#20880767
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35509) - you deserved it (2547)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38725) - you deserved it (7722)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (2679)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, my self-esteem sank so low that I sabotaged my workplace's corporate network, then fixed it, just so I could feel needed. FML

#20878417
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (5772)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:40pm - work - by sysadmin:~# rm -rf / (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38613) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40955) - you deserved it (4656)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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