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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

#20873371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49466) - you deserved it (4275)

On 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55255) - you deserved it (6385)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39496) - you deserved it (9304)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

#20870154
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55116) - you deserved it (6836)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by jesus christ, dad (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

#20866110
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40614) - you deserved it (2591)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, in French class we had to write love letters as an exercise. Since my boyfriend recently broke up with me by text message, I ended up writing a 20-sentence love letter in French to my cat. FML

#20878541
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45942) - you deserved it (4173)

On 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm - love - by Frenchie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (3396)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48790) - you deserved it (5415)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

#20878595
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19473) - you deserved it (55854)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by :| (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42304) - you deserved it (7193)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42749) - you deserved it (3243)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44836) - you deserved it (5653)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States



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