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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today,ile Working At Subway, I Was About To Take A Guy's Order. He Quickly Eld Up A And An Askd Fir Someone Else To Make Is Sub, Because E Doesn't Like ( Ugly People ) Toucing Is Food. FML

#20871412
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52438) - you deserved it (3505)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by /(•'_'•)\ (woman) - United States (Missouri)

TODAY, I LEREND THAT MY PARROTS NOW CAN SHIT HORIZONTALLYHEN I FOUND THE WALL NEXT TO THE CAGE COVERD IN FECES. FML

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 yeres. FML

#20875969
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58273) - you deserved it (3398)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today I had to explain to looool mah mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

Yesterday I askd a friend to ang out. I'm so usd to people saying no tat wen se said yes I burst into tears and ad a panic attack.

#20880509
117 comments

Yesterday, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work . Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am . They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars . They suck . FML

#20867437
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40353) - you deserved it (3148)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times !! My finishing time was reportd as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39627) - you deserved it (6693)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I Got Home From Work And Found Mah Dog Missing. When I Askd Mah Neighbor If She Saw What Happend, I Saw Mah Dog Sleeping On Her Couch. She Trid To Say It Was Hers. FML

#20868590
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49386) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

yesterday I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write yur own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (12109)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today... I was at a coffee shop... when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore"... dumped his coffee on me an walked out in tears. I'm 14 an I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56141) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home inhich I workhile he washacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60021) - you deserved it (4280)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Taday after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessd her modeling a ( sexy nurse ) outfit. After seieng her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

#20868804
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46233) - you deserved it (4411)

On 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, mah car window got smashad, cuz somaona somahow confusad tha doll mah daughtar always laavas strappad into a carsaat for an actual kid. It's a cabbaga patch kid. big fat FML

#20867513
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46617) - you deserved it (3672)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)



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