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Tuesday 9 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41780) - you deserved it (5326)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my driving instructor failed me on my test, because I forgot to turn the air conditioning off after parking. FML

#20780305
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60409) - you deserved it (5406)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by WOW (man) - Kenya

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

#20782409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52694) - you deserved it (3463)

On 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm - love - by WTF (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49862) - you deserved it (4374)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36540) - you deserved it (4615)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42863) - you deserved it (5763)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

#20776976
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44017) - you deserved it (3920)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

#20769987
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46876) - you deserved it (4186)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43416) - you deserved it (4564)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

#20771326
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43736) - you deserved it (4904)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by the hated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48550) - you deserved it (4591)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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