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Tuesday 9 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (51629)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50129) - you deserved it (4389)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

#20785828
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53849) - you deserved it (3730)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

#20784225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49002) - you deserved it (4423)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:25pm - misc - by helpme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55842) - you deserved it (4348)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

#20782409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55656) - you deserved it (3691)

On 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm - love - by WTF (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51658) - you deserved it (5338)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49545) - you deserved it (4151)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (47272)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

#20782525
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (64201)

On 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm - misc - by scheisse (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51614) - you deserved it (4131)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

#20780398
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64502) - you deserved it (3935)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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