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Tuesday 9 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55509) - you deserved it (4332)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML

#20782670
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57805) - you deserved it (2850)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by thatsfine (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (43463)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45056) - you deserved it (2980)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

#20786008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35380) - you deserved it (6805)

On 07/16/2013 at 8:01am - misc - by muffin (woman) - Austria

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49521) - you deserved it (3951)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

#20774578
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44898) - you deserved it (9147)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by mylifesucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40762) - you deserved it (9842)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

#20784225
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46362) - you deserved it (4175)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:25pm - misc - by helpme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

#20771105
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34240) - you deserved it (3260)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:26pm - animals - by Zoey_M - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55886) - you deserved it (5957)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45145) - you deserved it (5897)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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