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Tuesday 9 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

#20786008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35463) - you deserved it (6814)

On 07/16/2013 at 8:01am - misc - by muffin (woman) - Austria

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

#20772742
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39214) - you deserved it (3420)

On 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by help - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55632) - you deserved it (4333)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML

#20782670
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58641) - you deserved it (2898)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by thatsfine (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (43566)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49966) - you deserved it (3986)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

#20771105
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (3270)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:26pm - animals - by Zoey_M - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

#20774578
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45012) - you deserved it (9173)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by mylifesucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58530) - you deserved it (3611)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45271) - you deserved it (5910)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40888) - you deserved it (9854)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

#20780398
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61041) - you deserved it (3667)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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