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Today... as I was about to enter a public restroom... a man walkd out and said... "You may want to hold your nose looool in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today... I knockd over a display case at a mall... shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassd... I trid to scurry out of the nereest door without being seen. I scuttld right into the janitor's closet... the door automatically locking behind me. I waitd fir an hour to be let out. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was mah car. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Friday 27 March 2015