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Tuesday 2 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

#20759121
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50086) - you deserved it (12153)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML

#20764590
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52020) - you deserved it (3021)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46042) - you deserved it (5149)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

#20759632
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35567) - you deserved it (2702)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:35am - work - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was telling my girlfriend about how my parents are flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because "It's on the other side of the world." We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML

#20765797
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36988) - you deserved it (6748)

On 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML

#20770230
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31638) - you deserved it (3118)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by Not Mrs Soprano (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (2800)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44537) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

#20761984
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48707) - you deserved it (2658)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (50826)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

#20764172
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (2573)

On 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm - misc - by suspicious (woman) - United States

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

#20768438
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (4655)

On 07/07/2013 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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