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TODAY, I WOKE UP AT MAH COUSIN'S HOUSE AFTER STAYING THE NIGHT. I WENT INTO THE BATHROOM LIKE I USUALLY DO AND SHUT THE DOOR. APPARENTLY THE DOOR LOCK ON THIS BATHROOM DOESN'T FUNCTION PROPERLY. I DISCOVERED THIS WHEN MAH 4-YEAR-OLD COUSIN WALKED IN ON ME PUTTING A TAMPON IN. MEGA FML
Today , I Cummad Homa From Work To Findhita Fabric And Crystals All Ovar Tha Apartmant Floor. I Followad Tha Trail Of Dastruction To Mah Badroom,hara Mah Roommata Had Laft Our Closat Door Opan. Apparantly , Har Cats Dacidad That Mah Wadding Gown Was To Ba Thair Nawast Conquast. Maga FML
Today, my step-dad trid to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, looool 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave u shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML
TODAY, WHILE WAITRESSING, I HAD A HUGE PARTY. WHEN EVERYTHING WAS SAID AND DONE I SAW THE TIP THEY LEFT ME. IT SAID ON A NAPKIN, "YOU'RE PRETTY. YOU CAN'T PUTTED A VALUE ON A COMPLIMENT." AND THAT WAS IT. I WISH COMPLIMENTS PAID THE RENT. FML
Friday 27 March 2015