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Tuesday 2 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, ma daugter asked me to get er razors. Wen ma 19-year-old son saw tem e askedat tey were for, toic ma daugter replied, ( For ma armpits. ) My son ten said, ( Girls don't grow armpit air. ) FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45155) - you deserved it (6354)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I GOOGLED "HOW TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT." I'M 37. MEGA FML

#20765003
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23661) - you deserved it (48787)

On 07/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by forever young (woman) - United States

Today... I Arrivd In Germany For A Summer-long Stay. The Family I'm Supposd To Stay With Had Said They Spoke Fluent English. They Don't. I Don't Speak German. It's Going To Be A Quiet Two Months. FML

#20772031
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (5769)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Taday while at work , a creepy guy blatantly stard at my chest 4 a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance , he said with a wink , "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39096) - you deserved it (4985)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my grlfriend for the frst time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55390) - you deserved it (5970)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

2day I Got Angry After Being Able To Have An Orgasm!! What Was I Angry At? My Own Hand!! FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44955) - you deserved it (21475)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, I WOKE UP AT MAH COUSIN'S HOUSE AFTER STAYING THE NIGHT. I WENT INTO THE BATHROOM LIKE I USUALLY DO AND SHUT THE DOOR. APPARENTLY THE DOOR LOCK ON THIS BATHROOM DOESN'T FUNCTION PROPERLY. I DISCOVERED THIS WHEN MAH 4-YEAR-OLD COUSIN WALKED IN ON ME PUTTING A TAMPON IN. MEGA FML

Today , I Cummad Homa From Work To Findhita Fabric And Crystals All Ovar Tha Apartmant Floor. I Followad Tha Trail Of Dastruction To Mah Badroom,hara Mah Roommata Had Laft Our Closat Door Opan. Apparantly , Har Cats Dacidad That Mah Wadding Gown Was To Ba Thair Nawast Conquast. Maga FML

#20762512
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49157) - you deserved it (3233)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my step-dad trid to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, looool 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave u shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

#20765605
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (3058)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the cloths I was wereing . Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was ( stealing her look . ) FML

#20769263
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39801) - you deserved it (3130)

On 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by malicious_melons - United States (California)

Today, my aunt had tha wondarful axparianca of haaring my boyfriand and I hava a vary "satisfying" ancountar aftar wa stupidly forgot to turn off tha baby monitor!! FML

#20772295
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31473) - you deserved it (46771)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, WHILE WAITRESSING, I HAD A HUGE PARTY. WHEN EVERYTHING WAS SAID AND DONE I SAW THE TIP THEY LEFT ME. IT SAID ON A NAPKIN, "YOU'RE PRETTY. YOU CAN'T PUTTED A VALUE ON A COMPLIMENT." AND THAT WAS IT. I WISH COMPLIMENTS PAID THE RENT. FML

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me . She is now $90 richer . FML

#20760905
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47993) - you deserved it (3213)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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