Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 2 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53506) - you deserved it (5796)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42981) - you deserved it (20680)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (45156)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30141) - you deserved it (45184)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally got my laptop back after my friend broke it a few weeks ago. As I walked back into our place with my laptop in my bag, the same friend burst out and tackled me. My bag fell and slammed into the floor. Guess who has to pay for another repair. FML

#20772448
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49799) - you deserved it (4240)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by random person - United States

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (4866)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47812) - you deserved it (3198)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

#20762512
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48900) - you deserved it (3222)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

#20765605
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44195) - you deserved it (3048)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35898) - you deserved it (4545)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42767) - you deserved it (5754)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: