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Monday 24 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57766) - you deserved it (6471)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

#20744819
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56985) - you deserved it (16115)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

#20758869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38726) - you deserved it (3272)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:37pm - misc - by AwkwardPotato - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

#20745284
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60257) - you deserved it (4134)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

#20751604
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40733) - you deserved it (5195)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47654) - you deserved it (2559)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44343) - you deserved it (2625)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by perdix??? (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

#20756122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44056) - you deserved it (3508)

On 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by foreversingle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33753) - you deserved it (28745)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that "the little red X" next to the email title she's been pushing out of curiosity is actually the delete button. Then, I had to restore the dozen emails she'd deleted even after I told her to stop. She's a manager. I stock shelves for a living. FML

#20758316
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39499) - you deserved it (2194)

On 07/01/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56440) - you deserved it (9076)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

#20757403
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51204) - you deserved it (4312)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:38am - love - by Gracie-Ann (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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