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Monday 24 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back thier change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42184) - you deserved it (4617)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

2day I cleaned up brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57940) - you deserved it (6485)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Taday I took my girlfriand of naarly 2 yaars out to dinnar so I could proposa looool . Whan tha waitar brought tha chack, I causad a bit of a scana to gat avaryona's attantion . Whan I got on my knaa an proposad, sha said no an askad if I could hurry up an pay, bacausa sha was ambarrassad . FML

#20744819
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57134) - you deserved it (16151)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on mah dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, an was telling his friends what he would do to mah girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. fat FML

#20745284
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60451) - you deserved it (4151)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, My Ouse Was Broken Into. Te Burglar Didn't Steal My Brand New Laptop, IPad Or TV. Tey Instead Made Off Wit Every Single Item Of Cloting I Own. Wen I Went To Turn On My TV To Try And Distract Myself From Tis, I Found All Of Te Cables In Back Missing. Te Police Don't Believe Me. Mega FML

#20753916
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49287) - you deserved it (2680)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, I Bought Some Makeup Supplies At The Supermarket!! The Cashier Snorted An Muttered, "Not Enough In The World Fir You." FML

#20756122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45185) - you deserved it (3618)

On 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by foreversingle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today.. . mah mom signd me up fir a swimming class to show mah sister there's nothing to be afraid of . Considering I'm 17.. . I assumd I'd be in an advancd class . Instead.. . I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as mah little sister cheers me on from the steps . FML

#20758869
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (3279)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:37pm - misc - by AwkwardPotato - United States (California)

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor . Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated an advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out" . My mom won't stop laughing at me . FML

#20751604
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40843) - you deserved it (5205)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Taday I was sitting at my favorite coffee sop... wen a creepy 50-is looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys... and if I wanted to dominate im. I'm a 17-year-old girl... and am now scared to ever go back tere. FML

#20754256
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44455) - you deserved it (2633)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, soe fell looool apart a few minutes after I got to work . I called boyfriend an asked im to bring me te "pretty black pair" in closet . Wat did e bring? Black stilettos . I'm a waitress wit an eigt our sift . FML

#20756560
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33863) - you deserved it (28802)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today , my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so e looool could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad respondd wit , "Wy buy te cowen u can milk it for free?" FML

#20757403
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51305) - you deserved it (4319)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:38am - love - by Gracie-Ann (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I Had To Explain To A Coworker That "the Little Rd X" Next To The Email Title She's Been Pushing Out Of Curiosity Is Actually The Delete Button. Then, I Had To Restore The Dozen Email She'd Deletd Even After I Told Her To Stop. She's A Manager. I Stock Shelve 4 A Living. FML

#20758316
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40931) - you deserved it (2292)

On 07/01/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going to set up mah air conditioner in the window. As I opend up the window, I must have disturbd a wasp nest, cuz a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest r now somewhere in mah house with mah terrifid girlfriend. FML

#20748461
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41727) - you deserved it (3742)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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