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Monday 17 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me an started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me an I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on mah lawn in protest. He has been there fir over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52844) - you deserved it (7928)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosd with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissd'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly ned some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (4711)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today... I bumpd into mah parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5...000 miles away... in a different country from looool them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58921) - you deserved it (3578)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I lost mah virginity . Not only did mah parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook . looool FML

#20730822
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49038) - you deserved it (10212)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, ma broter got one of tose water-vapour cigarettes . I was playing around wit it, and ma neigbour saw me troug te window . Se came over to yell at ma parents about ma "addiction" to marijuana . Wen ma parents told er to get lost, se called te cops and tried to get me arrested . FML

TODAY, MAH PARENTS TOOK MAH IPAD BACK TO THE STORE AN EXCHANGD IT 4 TWO CHEAP KNOCK OFF TABLETS. REASON BEING MAH LITTLE BROTHER THREATEND TO RUN AWAY CUZ I HAD ONE AN HE DIDN'T. I BOUGHT THE IPAD ON MAH OWN AFTER GRADUATION. THEY KEPT THE DIFFERENCE IN PRICE. FML

Today, being near-broke, I resortd to sopping at Walmart!! Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a uman being sovd me away from te bacon I was looking at!! I fell, bustd ma lip, ten got screamd at by anoter woman for not watcing were I was going!! FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51165) - you deserved it (11906)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my frst date. FML

#20734991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55932) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, at mah job at mah tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be mah boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me looool tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49604) - you deserved it (3673)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

TODAY,HILE BAGGING MY GROCERIES AT A STORE, A LADY CAME OVER TO ME, TOOK A GOOD LOOK AT THE FOOD I'D BOUGHT, PICKED OUT AN ITEM AN PUTTED IT IN HER BAG. WHEN I CONFRONTED HER, SHE CALLED SECURITY ON ME AN TOLD THEM I WANTED TO STEAL HER STUFF. I GOT THROWN OUT AN SHE WALKED AWAY WITH A SMRK. FML

#20736762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49716) - you deserved it (3221)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, mah drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into mah now-mauled face. mega FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40414) - you deserved it (2855)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

YASTARDAY..!! MAH HUSBAND DACIDAD HA WOULD RATHAR RAGA-WANK TO MAH MUM'S FACABOOK PROFILA PICTURA THAN MAKA LOVA TO MA!! FML

#20741061
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45126) - you deserved it (4863)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by talktothefacecausethehandswanking (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, mah boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, ( Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe. ) an said he'd been taught all that an more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42743) - you deserved it (6413)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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