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Wednesday 12 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44160) - you deserved it (20942)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64104) - you deserved it (6602)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56908) - you deserved it (8877)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49817) - you deserved it (3967) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64414) - you deserved it (3459)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50574) - you deserved it (11435)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49234) - you deserved it (4996)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57748) - you deserved it (5623)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78383) - you deserved it (7165)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62047) - you deserved it (3124)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42764) - you deserved it (3958)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60871) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45758) - you deserved it (13218)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States



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