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Monday 10 June 2013

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Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

by why mom, why? / 06/12/2013 at 12:59am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML

by ineedbetterfriends / 06/15/2013 at 5:08pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

by hi_there4397 / 06/14/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML

by awk1 / 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

by fubuggie / 06/14/2013 at 1:57am / United States (Vermont) / Work

Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML

by vanity113 / 06/13/2013 at 12:04am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Transportation

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

by Elephant1718 / 06/11/2013 at 9:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML

by wtfwhyfml / 06/14/2013 at 3:29pm / United States / Work