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Wednesday 5 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45597) - you deserved it (7961)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45638) - you deserved it (2497)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the tram, when an elderly couple got on. I stood up to give them room to sit together, but as I stood up, the tram set off and I went flying, knocking the elderly gentleman over. FML

#20707500
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50364) - you deserved it (4169)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by Bookworm (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46084) - you deserved it (13725)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, I received a prank phone call that woke me up. I actually kept them on the line because they were the first person to call me in weeks. FML

#20704962
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46750) - you deserved it (5658)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML

#20704938
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44563) - you deserved it (3714)

On 06/04/2013 at 2:47am - health - by samaram (woman) - United States

Today, I spent my last day at the hospital for a long epilepsy test. Apparently, I don't have epilepsy at all, but I do have extreme stress. This means that I've been taking several anti-seizure medications that ruined my college plans and made me sick for half a year, all for nothing. FML

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

#20710332
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (4544)

On 06/06/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by :( (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

#20711674
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (11468)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

#20720351
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43104) - you deserved it (2738)

On 06/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Elephant1718 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

#20716126
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36976) - you deserved it (8751)

On 06/09/2013 at 7:33pm - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth - United States (Idaho)



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