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Wednesday 5 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

#20718832
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41505) - you deserved it (5158)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43799) - you deserved it (2374)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

#20720825
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45443) - you deserved it (7717)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:57am - money - by redvolvo23 - United States

Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML

#20704938
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42015) - you deserved it (3472)

On 06/04/2013 at 2:47am - health - by samaram (woman) - United States

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, I was on the tram, when an elderly couple got on. I stood up to give them room to sit together, but as I stood up, the tram set off and I went flying, knocking the elderly gentleman over. FML

#20707500
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47840) - you deserved it (3957)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by Bookworm (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

#20708877
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49011) - you deserved it (3090)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Applejacks18 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

#20712915
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43042) - you deserved it (2938)

On 06/08/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by congrats grad - United States (California)

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

#20702631
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52261) - you deserved it (6704)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is bringing his friends on our trip. I'm now the third wheel on the romantic trip we've planned for a year. FML

#20705634
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52141) - you deserved it (4458)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11pm - love - by TheThirdWheel - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

#20710332
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (4303)

On 06/06/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by :( (man) - United States

Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML

#20714116
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41743) - you deserved it (5546)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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