Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 5 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45245) - you deserved it (7941)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML

#20718780
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46709) - you deserved it (4226)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:12am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47839) - you deserved it (10754)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML

#20722079
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43189) - you deserved it (6704)

On 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by mysea8679 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

#20703976
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45070) - you deserved it (5129) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/03/2013 at 4:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

#20715817
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45926) - you deserved it (4430)

On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58042) - you deserved it (5681)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

#20714140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41035) - you deserved it (8062)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

#20717191
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45374) - you deserved it (4660)

On 06/10/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Bridget Jones? - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52514) - you deserved it (4084)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML

#20702606
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58497) - you deserved it (6806)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:31am - love - by BadBoyfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML

#20715362
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44198) - you deserved it (5060)

On 06/09/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: