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Wednesday 5 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw a man on my bika tat looool was stolan a faw yaars ago. I askad im if I could ava my bika back just wondaring wat a'd say. Ha calmly rapliad, "Hall no, I stola tis fair an squara." FML

#20708788
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56214) - you deserved it (6016)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today... I Saw Mice Eating From My Cat's Food Dish... Again. Where Is My Cat? He's Busy Bringing In More Mice... Birds... And Once Even An Unharmed Chipmunk Through His Cat Door. FML

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me an said, "Honey, your yur own brth control." FML

#20715175
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57140) - you deserved it (9872)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Yesterday My Boyfriend Of Six Days Proposed To Me. FML

#20708141
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82881) - you deserved it (11609)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

I walked in on mah dad masturbating to a nude photo of mah mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68898) - you deserved it (12982)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, my friend got dumpd . I wantd to say, "You must be devastatd", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44126) - you deserved it (12807)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

2day mah parents blew mah entre college fund in thier quest to finish building thier replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60034) - you deserved it (5893)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today mah friend told me he had just robbd a bank and needd a place to hide!! Thinking he was joking I let him in so we could hang out!! 15 minutes later the cops storm into mah apartment!! Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke!! real FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58349) - you deserved it (16099)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Taday I was meeting mah boyfriend's family for the first time!! The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face an kicked me out cuz I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister an I look much alike!! Too much alike!! FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63734) - you deserved it (4290)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to pick up mah 6-year-old son from his friend's house . They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave . So,hile I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table . FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50895) - you deserved it (5090)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend an I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, an that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, ( so we can still be just as safe ). What the hell? FML

#20712090
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67054) - you deserved it (9246)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36719) - you deserved it (7111)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States

today I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese an German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48029) - you deserved it (4893)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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