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Wednesday 22 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

#20690847
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23046) - you deserved it (44044)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

#20692458
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45550) - you deserved it (7298)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43366) - you deserved it (3259)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36230) - you deserved it (12803)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

#20681164
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (35707)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44291) - you deserved it (4000)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

#20687072
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46818) - you deserved it (7616)

On 05/26/2013 at 10:15am - love - by thenewgirlfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43276) - you deserved it (13977)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML

#20691079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49872) - you deserved it (5195)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML

#20692547
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52674) - you deserved it (10987)

On 05/29/2013 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

#20681237
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40724) - you deserved it (5071)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41551) - you deserved it (3949)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States



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