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Wednesday 22 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

#20687302
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40437) - you deserved it (3675)

On 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21112) - you deserved it (38170)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44288) - you deserved it (3329)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

#20687072
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47502) - you deserved it (7691)

On 05/26/2013 at 10:15am - love - by thenewgirlfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

#20689927
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53614) - you deserved it (11649)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (48611)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42987) - you deserved it (2743)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

#20688590
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46183) - you deserved it (3054)

On 05/27/2013 at 1:05am - health - by you're shitting me - Australia

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40334) - you deserved it (6421)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44489) - you deserved it (2942)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (4218)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML



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