Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39695) - you deserved it (8875)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40298) - you deserved it (19594)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38844) - you deserved it (3401)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38979) - you deserved it (4804)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41699) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

#20669510
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41892) - you deserved it (10533)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36069) - you deserved it (12771)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (22953)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40439) - you deserved it (2982)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42673) - you deserved it (5326)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43195) - you deserved it (3059)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: