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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40036) - you deserved it (4753)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34876) - you deserved it (15949)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57601) - you deserved it (3094)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44748) - you deserved it (3051)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40809) - you deserved it (3432)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (11758)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML

#20675748
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51032) - you deserved it (17404)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40914) - you deserved it (2575)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41852) - you deserved it (2759)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52860) - you deserved it (10383)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

#20666438
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44748) - you deserved it (5816)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48186) - you deserved it (4947)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42593) - you deserved it (5736)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)



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