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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (16168)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41688) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58516) - you deserved it (3174)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42977) - you deserved it (2743)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45111) - you deserved it (3080)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41942) - you deserved it (12168)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML

#20675748
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52950) - you deserved it (17528)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44474) - you deserved it (2941)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53309) - you deserved it (10463)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49371) - you deserved it (5051)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44781) - you deserved it (5936)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43740) - you deserved it (2881)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)



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