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Wednesday 8 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47907) - you deserved it (10534)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

#20654794
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60048) - you deserved it (3457)

On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41769) - you deserved it (5182)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

#20647971
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48035) - you deserved it (2872)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

#20651954
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46839) - you deserved it (9549)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

#20654383
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51814) - you deserved it (3981)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52768) - you deserved it (3378)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML

#20650839
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43023) - you deserved it (12943)

On 05/08/2013 at 9:22pm - misc - by 19kwhatever (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48633) - you deserved it (3358)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55764) - you deserved it (4433)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML

#20646861
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59533) - you deserved it (6788)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49981) - you deserved it (5611)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51793) - you deserved it (9722)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)



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