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Wednesday 8 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39302) - you deserved it (12556)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62150) - you deserved it (9020)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML

#20647629
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47875) - you deserved it (3838)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59183) - you deserved it (3804)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29896) - you deserved it (39685)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46012) - you deserved it (9797)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49554) - you deserved it (4121)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

#20653580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45311) - you deserved it (9059)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

#20654488
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46602) - you deserved it (4450)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48751) - you deserved it (5431)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42377) - you deserved it (7004)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61661) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)



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