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Wednesday 8 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49494) - you deserved it (4441)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

#20653026
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56787) - you deserved it (7128)

On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

#20664946
79 comments

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44886) - you deserved it (22291)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62353) - you deserved it (5592)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66827) - you deserved it (6278)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52614) - you deserved it (6105)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45244) - you deserved it (4365)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56684) - you deserved it (3517)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (3394)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26072) - you deserved it (52078)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49427) - you deserved it (2870)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55825) - you deserved it (9088)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)



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