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Wednesday 1 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

#20633517
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46434) - you deserved it (5246)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43266) - you deserved it (4117)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42579) - you deserved it (5281)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

#20647971
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48039) - you deserved it (2872)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38039) - you deserved it (3173)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML

#20638375
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54657) - you deserved it (9287)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:16am - love - by SingleStrongArm - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML

#20650839
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45417) - you deserved it (13689)

On 05/08/2013 at 9:22pm - misc - by 19kwhatever (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55767) - you deserved it (4433)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML

#20646861
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60045) - you deserved it (6832)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49985) - you deserved it (5612)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51226) - you deserved it (2450)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51804) - you deserved it (9723)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46406) - you deserved it (3654)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands



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