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Wednesday 1 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I WAS IN A BATHROOM STALL AND I ACCIDENTALLY DROPPD MAH NEW TAMPON ON THE GROUND. JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO REACH FOR IT, I HEARD A VOICE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STALL SAY, "OH GREAT, I NEEDD THAT" AND THEN A HAND REACHD UNDER MAH STALL AND GRABBD IT. IT WAS MAH LAST ONE. FML

#20647074
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60574) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

yesterday for a laugh, I putted vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar an went to the mall to eat it with a spoon . Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace . They shoved me into a back room an grilled me about wat was in the jar . FML

#20632537
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42121) - you deserved it (18479)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, I got ome from work an found ma grlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. Se ended up pusing me onto te bed, an as I lay tere, expecting to be pleasured, se pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas an dressed me in tem. FML

#20632794
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59506) - you deserved it (7761)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrestd, an we all got find 4 creating a public disturbance. When I explaind I wasn't with them, the group backd me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, an now I have to go to court. real FML

#20639737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59208) - you deserved it (3404)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was getting looool ready, when I heard mah dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song ( The Wheel in the Sky ) by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics an was singing, ( The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'. ) It turns out mah mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64183) - you deserved it (5218)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, ma 6-year-old daugter walkd into te looool batroom were I was grumbling about ma weigt!! Seeing ow upset I was, se took ma and and said, ( Mom, you're not fat!! You just look fat!! ) FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47705) - you deserved it (6352)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

TODAY..!! I WENT TO HAVE A BREAST EXAM!! THE DOC TOLD ME THAT SHE WOULD TOUCH DIFFERENT PARTS OF BREASTS..!! AND SAID TO TELL HER IF AT ANY POINT IT FELT PAINFUL!! AS SHE WAS EXAMINING ME..!! I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT IT WASN'T PAINFUL..!! BUT INSTEAD I BLURTED OUT..!! ( IT FEELS GOOD!! ) FML

#20630276
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (12097)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

today I'm on holiday in Ghana . After having worn an anklet I bought ere for the past two weeks, I was told that it's usd by the local prostitutes to advertise thier trade . FML

#20637157
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46183) - you deserved it (7163)

On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter filmsho I've had a crush on since I was about ten!! I trid to play it cool, and pretend I didn't knowho he was!! Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune!! FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23099) - you deserved it (41833)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49104) - you deserved it (7619)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today , mah boss fred me fir acting ( inappropriately ) at work. I gave him a hug. He's mah dad. FML

#20638777
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66557) - you deserved it (8093)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to go see granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47038) - you deserved it (6260)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Taday I tried to show mah boyfriend's mom a picture of mah prom dress on mah phone. She scrolled to the right to fine a picture of her son , naked.

#20642331
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42208) - you deserved it (73409)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States



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