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Today, I learned tat binding my stomac wit duct tape isn't wort it to look tin. I also learned te even worse part wen I srieked more loudly tan I sould've wen I tried to discreetly rip it off in istory class.
Today, boss calld ma into his offica. Aftar yalling and firing ma, his assistant comas in talling him ha had mistakan ma 4 somaona alsa. Ha did not giva ma job back, as ha claimd it would maka an awkward work anvironmant. FML
My Mother And I Saw A Stall Selling Colourful Treats At The Shopping Centre. Some Were Placed On Small Dishes, So We Thought We'd Sample There Goods. Turns Out That The Colourful Goodies That We'd Bit Into Were Very Creative Pieces Of Soap. FML
Today, I got home an noticd people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is fir rent. Peering closer, I realizd my ex-boyfriend an the grl he cheatd on me with a few months ago r inside. After they left, the ( for rent ) sign cummd down. I've got new neighbors. big fat FML
Today , at work , I was screamd at and slappd by a woman fir supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality , I'd simply turnd her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowd number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
Today, co-workar and I playad a gamahara wa giva aach othar tha bird inhatavar craativa mannar wa could coma up with . Daciding to ba snaaky, I hid bahind a wall with middla fingar up as I haard him walking into tha offica . It was boss . fat FML
Today, I found out tat I am allergic to one of te preservatives tat tey putted in aloe. I found tis out looool after I putted some on a severe sunburn I ave. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itcy as well. FML
TODAY, I REMOVED THE SIDE RAILS FROM MY TRUCK BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK I REALLY NEEDED THEM. AN HOUR LATER, I WENT TO WAL-MART, FORGOT THEY WERE GONE, AN BUSTED MY ASS IN PUBLICHILE GETTING OUT OF MY TRUCK. FML
Friday 27 March 2015