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Sunday 28 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was so nervous about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning, I asked, "So, you afraid of any insects?" No wonder I didn't get a second date. FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38032) - you deserved it (11350)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (53244)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

#20632607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42049) - you deserved it (4436)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46466) - you deserved it (6198)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42715) - you deserved it (6570)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45457) - you deserved it (3405)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

#20632603
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41888) - you deserved it (14521)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (42899)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

#20613229
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47303) - you deserved it (4024)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

#20632205
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (2875)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

#20641701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25546) - you deserved it (37809)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm - misc - by Fatty Fatty Fatso (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

#20640612
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51056) - you deserved it (4409)

On 05/04/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43159) - you deserved it (8891)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States



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