Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 25 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, co-workar and I playad a gamahara wa giva aach othar tha bird inhatavar craativa mannar wa could coma up with . Daciding to ba snaaky, I hid bahind a wall with middla fingar up as I haard him walking into tha offica . It was boss . fat FML

#20635309
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16222) - you deserved it (36402)

On 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out tat I am allergic to one of te preservatives tat tey putted in aloe. I found tis out looool after I putted some on a severe sunburn I ave. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itcy as well. FML

#20613229
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45528) - you deserved it (3885)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

TODAY, I REMOVED THE SIDE RAILS FROM MY TRUCK BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK I REALLY NEEDED THEM. AN HOUR LATER, I WENT TO WAL-MART, FORGOT THEY WERE GONE, AN BUSTED MY ASS IN PUBLICHILE GETTING OUT OF MY TRUCK. FML

#20615692
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17990) - you deserved it (39786)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today , six weeks before my wedding , my mother decidd to claim that she never agred on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she plannd in the first place. FML

#20626669
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50178) - you deserved it (4069)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

TODAY I MISSED MULTIPLE CALLS FROM THE COMPANY I APPLIED TO. THAT WAS THE SUPERVISOR CALLING WANTING TO HIRE ME. I THEN REMEMBERED MAH IDIOTIC VOICEMAIL I MADE MONTHS AGO WHERE I PRETENDED TO ANSWER AND SAY STUPID STUFF FOR 5 MINUTES. I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO GET THE JOB. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (49905)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today , I was so nervou about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning , I asked , ( So , you afraid of any insects? ) No wonder I didn't get a second date . big fat FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35548) - you deserved it (10674)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)

Today, mah guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join mah school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for looool mah 3.9 GPA and bieng in the top 5% of mah class. FML

#20632758
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47598) - you deserved it (3100)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today while paying a $60 tab on drinks fir a girl a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves looool but to report me fir not paying. FML

#20634407
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52385) - you deserved it (4415)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

TODAY, A HUGE AND ANGRY MAN STORMD INTO MY WORK AND THREATEND TO KILL ME IF I DIDN'T STOP SLEEPING WITH HIS WIFE. HE THEN THREATEND TO COME BACK AND KICK MY ASS IF I SO MUCH AS TEXTD HIS WIFE AGAIN. THE PROBLEM IS, I'M MARRID, HAVE NEVER CHEATD AND I WORK 4 MY WIFE'S FATHER. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54202) - you deserved it (2854)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, I had a big party plannd. All but one of the guests cancelld. See u at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46298) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, my parent finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. mega FML

#20631493
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43954) - you deserved it (3360)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today , Mah Boyfriend Of Two And A Half Yeres Left Me. To Clear Mah Head I Decidd To Go For A Drive. My Car Broke Down On The Way. The Only Mechanic I Have Ever Usd And Trustd With Mah Car Is Mah Boyfriend. Yes , I Had To Call Him. FML

#20634352
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (7663)

On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)

yesterday my dog had her stomach pumpd cuz she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made fir looool a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39550) - you deserved it (6175)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: