Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 25 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42718) - you deserved it (6570)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45460) - you deserved it (3405)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

#20632603
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41889) - you deserved it (14524)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

#20613229
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47306) - you deserved it (4025)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

#20632205
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45666) - you deserved it (2883)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43165) - you deserved it (8891)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML

#20626789
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47817) - you deserved it (3301)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by lonesome - Canada

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

#20615900
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29940) - you deserved it (42400)

On 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm - work - by hatemyjob (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML

#20634292
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37853) - you deserved it (7276)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43571) - you deserved it (4704)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML

#20626478
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41799) - you deserved it (5955)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:25pm - misc - by gross. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45364) - you deserved it (3666)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

#20619233
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (14723)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by public pooper - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: