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Sunday 21 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

#20624598
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49299) - you deserved it (3073)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52300) - you deserved it (3449)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39523) - you deserved it (10811)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63793) - you deserved it (10935)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

#20620111
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56491) - you deserved it (11095)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

#20627240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49208) - you deserved it (10901)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31416) - you deserved it (65715)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41041) - you deserved it (4979)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

#20608416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51631) - you deserved it (6658)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm - love - by Thanks Babe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

#20623794
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38398) - you deserved it (7685)

On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43079) - you deserved it (2639)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

#20607123
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51329) - you deserved it (7335)

On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)



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