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Sunday 21 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39139) - you deserved it (8597)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65322) - you deserved it (4201)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

#20615372
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48288) - you deserved it (5802)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55139) - you deserved it (7872)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

#20621115
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43947) - you deserved it (4925)

On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

#20622674
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72927) - you deserved it (10016)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

#20623167
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46302) - you deserved it (2784)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62141) - you deserved it (13923)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

#20618435
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44965) - you deserved it (5949)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

#20602988
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42433) - you deserved it (12683)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

#20613954
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50969) - you deserved it (3319)

On 04/22/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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