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Thursday 18 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mum askd me, "Shouldn't u be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replid, "Shouldn't u be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in life. mega FML

#20612550
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (112724)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82392) - you deserved it (4296)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I Found Out That Yale Had Actually Accepted Me Seventeen Years Ago. My Mother Apparently Burned Mah Acceptance Package And Letter Because She Didn't Want Me To Upstage Her UChicago Degree. FML

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but looool u can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65986) - you deserved it (12674)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Yesterday, I walked in on my looool brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realizd there was no more toilet paper, so I askd my friend to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50417) - you deserved it (8169)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's startd manipulating the looool grls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a babby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49463) - you deserved it (6455)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a werd boob dance an middle fingered me. FML

#20611911
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41102) - you deserved it (14225)

On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

TODAY, I POSTED A VIDEO OF A DANCE I CHOREOGRAPHED ON FACEBOOK!! I GOT A NOTIFICATION A FEW HOURS LATER TELLING ME THAT GRANDPA HAD ALSO SHARED IT!! HIS CAPTION? "MY GRANDDAUGHTER DANCES LIKE A GAY BABOON AND THIS DANCE SUCKS BALLS!! THROW GRAPES AT HER." THANKS GRANDPA!! REAL FML

#20604301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48849) - you deserved it (9345)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, mah school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor,ho wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in mah sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56975) - you deserved it (12763)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in teres, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away an haven't a clue how she found outhere looool I live. mega FML

#20611227
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55507) - you deserved it (3702)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY, MAH HUSBAND OF 6 YAARS SAID IN A GRAVA VOICA THAT HA HAD SOMA IMPORTANT NAWS FOR MA. JOKINGLY, I SAID, "WHY, DID U GAT THAT CUTA COLLAAGUA OF YOURS PRAGNANT?" HA DID. FML

#20593773
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69088) - you deserved it (6158)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today , I met new girlfriend at er ouse fir te very first time. And er 17 cats,ose names all begin wit te letter "K" , because tier all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53555) - you deserved it (8658)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States



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