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Thursday 18 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

#20608123
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41516) - you deserved it (3421)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

#20609262
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52313) - you deserved it (6688)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

#20609750
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52237) - you deserved it (5626)

On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

#20613229
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43897) - you deserved it (3742)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

#20615692
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17940) - you deserved it (39676)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

#20620985
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44389) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (2985)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

#20597351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46801) - you deserved it (7381)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37720) - you deserved it (3895)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42545) - you deserved it (3983)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

#20605834
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47664) - you deserved it (5525)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

#20620041
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44071) - you deserved it (4088)

On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the park unsuccessfully trying to take a selfie. A stranger walked up to me and offered to take the picture for me. I agreed and gave him my phone. He took it and ran off. FML

#20595412
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (54081)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by no selfie for me - United States (California)



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