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Tuesday 9 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

#20581032
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30284) - you deserved it (7497) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/08/2013 at 5:10pm - misc - by La Guigne - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45689) - you deserved it (4511)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14342) - you deserved it (82795)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I just remembered that I changed my Gmail display name to "Rice Ball" out of privacy-paranoia a while back. I've been using this same email to apply to several professional jobs. FML

#20592754
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16826) - you deserved it (37510)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46061) - you deserved it (9396)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my birthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML

#20589773
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54777) - you deserved it (4103)

On 04/14/2013 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (44992)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss' way of seeing how stupid you are. FML

#20584939
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35479) - you deserved it (8004)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by Directionally challenged - United States

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31773) - you deserved it (5178)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

#20597317
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36151) - you deserved it (3756)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

#20589845
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (7589)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

#20591828
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39907) - you deserved it (5723)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

#20594384
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43366) - you deserved it (2623)

On 04/15/2013 at 6:11pm - misc - by MyLifeSucks (man) - United States (Texas)



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