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Tuesday 9 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (17897)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19284) - you deserved it (45584)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML

#20589493
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45007) - you deserved it (5152)

On 04/14/2013 at 3:28am - love - by MissedTheBoat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54271) - you deserved it (5149)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML

#20580594
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30208) - you deserved it (3626)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm - work - by soakedga - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11156) - you deserved it (40846)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (15565)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3am, screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML

#20592535
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36834) - you deserved it (4357)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:32am - misc - by do your own ironing (woman) -

Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (11204)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

#20597351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44098) - you deserved it (6990)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28013) - you deserved it (4676)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

#20589609
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (14687)

On 04/14/2013 at 5:58am - kids - by jasminejzhu (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36248) - you deserved it (4969)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)



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