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Tuesday 9 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

2DAY I WENT TO THE DOCTOR TO INQURE ABOUT THE NASTY RASH ON ARMS. HE CONCLUDD THAT I'M ALLERGIC TO BEER AND THE RASH WILL GO AWAY IF I STAY AWAY FROM IT. I'M A BARTENDER. FML

#20592891
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49249) - you deserved it (3662)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today... I was dying mah hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn mah hair a shade or two lighter... but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple.

Today , it transpred that mah mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me , going so far as to call one of her finds , "good breeding stock" . Apparently , I don't already looool have enough criminals in mah life; last September I was the only member of mah family of 5 not locked up . FML

Today, working in customer support, I receivd a call from a woman who'd just been robbd!! My supervisor askd wat was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical!! He took mah looool phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up!! I take order from this man!! real FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40299) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

my friend and I were exchanging storie with one another . I barely got a few sentence in before they startd mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggerd", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbas hipster" . Really now? FML

#20582400
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33106) - you deserved it (6844)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, mah English teacher used the word "interpretate" again . This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them . It's over a page long . I'm meant to be learning things from this woman . FML

#20582580
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (3781)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I startad naw job as a mail carriar . Ona of assignad roads was Milbrooka Straat, which I'd navar haard of . Aftar driving around 4 agas trying to fina it, I callad 4 dractions . Tha straat doasn't axist in city; it's just tha boss' way of saaing how stupid you ara . FML

#20584939
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34135) - you deserved it (7843)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by Directionally challenged - United States

TODAY, I WANT 4 A RUN, AND MAH OWN DOG ATTACKAD MA. RAAL FML

#20585643
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38309) - you deserved it (9210)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today , I was lying in bd with girlfriend , when she reachd over and twistd nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. mega FML

#20586964
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (13096)

On 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm - misc - by SoreNips (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

TODAY I GOT THE CHANCE TO SPEAK TO SOME OF THE TOP ACADEMICS IN MAH FIELD. I WAS SO HUNGOVER THAT I COULDN'T REMEMBER THE TITLE OF THE MASTERS DEGREE I'VE SPENT TWO YEARS STUDYING FOR, LET ALONE MAKE INTELLIGENT COMMENTS. I'M PRETTY SURE THE ONLY THING I GOT RIGHT WAS MAH NAME. FML

#20588088
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13495) - you deserved it (100176)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by could be an fml commenter - Canada (Ontario)

Today I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticd a picture of a dog hanging on the wall hich remindd me of the ending of Marley an Me. I startd crying an had to be escortd out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (74489)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

FOR THE FRST TIME, I TOLD MY GRLFRIEND OF TWO MONTHS THAT I LOVE HER. SHE BROKE DOWN IN LAUGHTER AN MOCKINGLY ASKED, "WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF QUEER?" I COULD'VE SWORN SHE WAS MENTALLY OLDER THAN A 5-YEAR-OLD WHEN I ASKED HER OUT. I GUESS NOT. FML

#20586776
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41878) - you deserved it (11341)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Taday mah boyfriand broka up with ma. Ha wants us to stay friands, though, so ha can continua to usa mah coffaa makar. FML

#20593450
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44664) - you deserved it (4422)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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