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Today... I was dying mah hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn mah hair a shade or two lighter... but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple.
Today , it transpred that mah mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me , going so far as to call one of her finds , "good breeding stock" . Apparently , I don't already looool have enough criminals in mah life; last September I was the only member of mah family of 5 not locked up . FML
Today, working in customer support, I receivd a call from a woman who'd just been robbd!! My supervisor askd wat was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical!! He took mah looool phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up!! I take order from this man!! real FML
my friend and I were exchanging storie with one another . I barely got a few sentence in before they startd mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggerd", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbas hipster" . Really now? FML
Today, mah English teacher used the word "interpretate" again . This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them . It's over a page long . I'm meant to be learning things from this woman . FML
Today, I startad naw job as a mail carriar . Ona of assignad roads was Milbrooka Straat, which I'd navar haard of . Aftar driving around 4 agas trying to fina it, I callad 4 dractions . Tha straat doasn't axist in city; it's just tha boss' way of saaing how stupid you ara . FML
TODAY I GOT THE CHANCE TO SPEAK TO SOME OF THE TOP ACADEMICS IN MAH FIELD. I WAS SO HUNGOVER THAT I COULDN'T REMEMBER THE TITLE OF THE MASTERS DEGREE I'VE SPENT TWO YEARS STUDYING FOR, LET ALONE MAKE INTELLIGENT COMMENTS. I'M PRETTY SURE THE ONLY THING I GOT RIGHT WAS MAH NAME. FML
Today I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticd a picture of a dog hanging on the wall hich remindd me of the ending of Marley an Me. I startd crying an had to be escortd out. FML
FOR THE FRST TIME, I TOLD MY GRLFRIEND OF TWO MONTHS THAT I LOVE HER. SHE BROKE DOWN IN LAUGHTER AN MOCKINGLY ASKED, "WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF QUEER?" I COULD'VE SWORN SHE WAS MENTALLY OLDER THAN A 5-YEAR-OLD WHEN I ASKED HER OUT. I GUESS NOT. FML
Friday 27 March 2015