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Tuesday 9 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40315) - you deserved it (19348)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50527) - you deserved it (4978)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47657) - you deserved it (5456)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39932) - you deserved it (3567)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40141) - you deserved it (4862)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37466) - you deserved it (3523)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58143) - you deserved it (10499)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69146) - you deserved it (12181)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68761) - you deserved it (10904)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42383) - you deserved it (11564)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38247) - you deserved it (5879)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38369) - you deserved it (18141)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43080) - you deserved it (13256) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France



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