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Tuesday 9 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61811) - you deserved it (5418)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38565) - you deserved it (3437)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49625) - you deserved it (4905)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47485) - you deserved it (5443)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36434) - you deserved it (3454)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39989) - you deserved it (4855)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57938) - you deserved it (10477)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68987) - you deserved it (12154)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (11303)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68446) - you deserved it (10874)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38223) - you deserved it (18126)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you deserved it (5754)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I sat on an unopened folding chair to avoid the effort of opening it up. FML

#20587700
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14771) - you deserved it (94709)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by mets300 - United States (New York)



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