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Saturday 6 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

#20582400
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33198) - you deserved it (6853)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

#20582580
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34300) - you deserved it (3895)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss' way of seeing how stupid you are. FML

#20584939
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (7853)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by Directionally challenged - United States

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38416) - you deserved it (9226)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got the chance to speak to some of the top academics in my field. I was so hungover that I couldn't remember the title of the Masters degree I've spent two years studying for, let alone make intelligent comments. I'm pretty sure the only thing I got right was my name. FML

#20588088
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13531) - you deserved it (100364)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by could be an fml commenter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20217) - you deserved it (74617)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML

#20586776
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43200) - you deserved it (11633)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

#20569420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (4348)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28630) - you deserved it (3334)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

#20578323
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49223) - you deserved it (9436)

On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13337) - you deserved it (79719)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (10314)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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