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Thursday 4 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

#20579242
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (5304)

On 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by DJ (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (4875)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (18033)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States

Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML

Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML

#20571699
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (4490)

On 04/02/2013 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm from eagerly scratching off a lottery ticket. No, I didn't win anything. FML

#20576976
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (15198)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:59am - health - by Kotoko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML

#20581665
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (5123)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by lonelygirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

#20577445
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40041) - you deserved it (3175)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (37286)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35812) - you deserved it (3962)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

#20583666
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48552) - you deserved it (6479)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (14892)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

#20569932
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34337) - you deserved it (3662)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)



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