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Thursday 4 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39580) - you deserved it (3527)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34135) - you deserved it (11039)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36467) - you deserved it (3454)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (3231)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39121) - you deserved it (2544)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43200) - you deserved it (3031)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45043) - you deserved it (7837)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43577) - you deserved it (4360)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML

#20577137
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37472) - you deserved it (6816)

On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36967) - you deserved it (5756)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68498) - you deserved it (10881)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38258) - you deserved it (18130)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

#20577290
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57004) - you deserved it (5174)

On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)



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