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Thursday 4 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34890) - you deserved it (5757)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

#20569420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31921) - you deserved it (2929)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29943) - you deserved it (7580)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

#20577504
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (2420)

On 04/06/2013 at 1:06pm - misc - by yeah why not (woman) - Norway

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

#20578323
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44795) - you deserved it (8810)

On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

#20578784
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13217) - you deserved it (36668)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (17899)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11158) - you deserved it (40850)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML

#20569388
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32453) - you deserved it (1812)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

#20574002
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (2196)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (3138)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (1711)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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