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Tuesday 2 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18942) - you deserved it (42163)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML

#20571483
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (3907)

On 04/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38608) - you deserved it (3237)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML

#20574330
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31302) - you deserved it (3236)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by CrazyBitch - United States (California)



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