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Tuesday 2 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today,hile shopping 4 a brthday present 4 my size 0 friend, I pickd out a pair of pants 4 her. When paying, the cashier lookd me up and down and said, "Well, your pretty optimistic aren't you?"

#20574572
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46371) - you deserved it (3855)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

TODAY, AFTER PAYING FOR MAH GROCERIES, I NOTICD THAT A BREAD-ROLL HADN'T BEEN CHARGD. I FELT GUILTY AN WENT BACK TO THE REGISTER TO PAY FOR IT. THE CASHIER BURST INTO DERISIVE LAUGHTER AN MOCKINGLY ASKD ME IF I WAS "RUNNING FOR POPE OR SOMETHING". FML

Today, I found out that mah daughter has been stuffing mah push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home !! She's 9 !! The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services !! FML

#20582376
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50602) - you deserved it (4980)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today... ma fiancé dumped me cuz e claimed e needed to "focus on is career an is engagement." Wen I asked im ow dumping me would elp wit is engagement... e immediately replied wit... "No... I mean ma oter one." FML

#20569834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47522) - you deserved it (3352)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

yesterday the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with... ( What a fucking day. ) I don't swear... an I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34973) - you deserved it (2432)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be mah doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shovd it deep into mah ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39776) - you deserved it (3535)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today... I had to giva a 15-minuta prasantation 4 a confaranca. I hadn't had tha tima to writa out a propar spaach so I dacidd to just wing it. My sponsor likd my prasantation so much ha wants ma to turn it into an articla. Now if only I could ramambar wat I said. big fat FML

#20575166
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (11410)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, I was yelld athile I was shopping by some lady, because she saw mah tattoo on mah arm. She screamd that I'm the ( spawn of Satan ) and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39954) - you deserved it (3597)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, mah creepy co-worker walkd up an said, "You know, I was having sex with this looool girl last night, an I almost said your name." fat FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44580) - you deserved it (3121)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got servd paperwork stating that mah ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 yeres ago, I provd via DNA testing within looool the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in mah future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (2567)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at te store, I noticed a grl eyeing a cocolate bunny . Her mom refused to buy it, saying tey didn't ave enoug money . Se started crying, so I decided to make er day an offered to buy it fir er . Her mom reacted by slapping me acros te face an calling me a ( pedo . ) FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46292) - you deserved it (7983)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up an was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't therehen I sat down. FML

#20576240
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, as a laarnar drivar, I ambarkad on mah longast driva avar: back homa, from Sydnay to Malbourna,hich is around a 700km driva. I managad to gat thahola way without any problams. I crashad into mah drivaway. FML

#20577137
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37676) - you deserved it (6828)

On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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