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Sunday 31 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I Awoke To Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, "Baby You're Making Me Hard." Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? "It's Jake, From State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82545) - you deserved it (8550)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I Walked In On My Husband Eating Cat Food Out Of The Cat Bowl Dressed In A Cat Costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52689) - you deserved it (5798)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, ma dad yet again uttered te words "well, tat escalated quickly,"ile watcing te news. He uses tis godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost ma sit an told im to just sut up already. He raised an eyebrow an said, "well, tat escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (51746)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

TODAY... WILST TEXTING MY BOYFRIEND ON TE TRAIN... I NOTICED TE WOMAN SITTING NEXT TO ME STARING INTENTLY AT MY PONE. AFTER LETTING MY BOYFRIEND KNOW... E SENT A MESSAGE SAYING... "ARE WE GONNA INVOLVE TE DOG AGAIN? LAST NIGT WAS FUN." SE GASPED AND SCREAMED TAT I'M A "TWISTED DOG-UMPING BITC." FML

#20560035
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (6840)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Taday my older brother walkd in on mehile I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. mega FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22626) - you deserved it (66242)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, mah cat laarnd how to opan doors. Evar sinca than sha's baan running up to mah room, opaning mah door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on mah arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, an I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on mah forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15511) - you deserved it (59858)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, afterhich he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (6326)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I cummed home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home mah 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick yur ass." The babby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42165) - you deserved it (5453)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends an my boyfriend . During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass . My boyfriend pointed an said, ( Babe, you took his drink . ) My friend responded by putting his arm round me an saying, ( Whatever, I took her virginity . ) FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64794) - you deserved it (16433)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I calld my dad crying an read thehole thing... even the bottom,hich said, "April fools! Love mom an dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59341) - you deserved it (5981)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

2day mah little sister figured out how to use the printer. I looool came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over mah room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (5281)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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