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Saturday 30 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be mah doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shovd it deep into mah ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39776) - you deserved it (3535)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today... I had to giva a 15-minuta prasantation 4 a confaranca. I hadn't had tha tima to writa out a propar spaach so I dacidd to just wing it. My sponsor likd my prasantation so much ha wants ma to turn it into an articla. Now if only I could ramambar wat I said. big fat FML

#20575166
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (11410)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." mega FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38659) - you deserved it (4125)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he cummed and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

#20561915
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (17484)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today , a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said , ( Oh so u DO know where it is! ) and walked away , roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple an looool a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple... an the socks are too small. mega FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38452) - you deserved it (2678)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today mah creepy co-worker walked up and said "You know I was having sex with this grl last night and I almost said yur name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44580) - you deserved it (3121)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I ad to present a project 4 ma science class. I began explaining ma project; looking at looool all te bord people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness ten causd me to laug ysterically, causing ma classmates to laug. My teacer felt sorry 4 me an told me to sit down. FML

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my nieghborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (23325)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today , What Started As A Fun Family Easter Egg Hunt Turned Within Minutes Into My Mother-in-law's Big Chance To Be A Dramatic Cow By Screaming At My 5 And 7-year-old Daughters Fir Participating In A "vile Pagan Ritual" And Saying That We're All Going To Hell. They're Still Bawling. Real FML

#20568650
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (2330)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got servd paperwork stating that mah ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 yeres ago, I provd via DNA testing within looool the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in mah future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (2567)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the store, I noticed a grl eyieng a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46292) - you deserved it (7983)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my German Seperd decided to bark at, ten attack, a painted rock!! At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects!! mega FML

#20561241
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28144) - you deserved it (3156)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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