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Wednesday 13 March 2013

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Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

by nohablaespanol / 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm / United States / Love

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

by anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to go to my Hotmail account on my boyfriend's computer. When I typed in "hot", a big history list came down. It was all "Hot single mom looking for a good lay" Craigslist ads. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States / Love

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

by nomorecleaning / 03/16/2013 at 8:17am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 10:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

by jisaac09 / 03/17/2013 at 1:05am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML

by PhailedMidterm / 03/12/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2013 at 10:03am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out my knee playing basketball. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

by need an appendickectomy / 03/17/2013 at 4:12pm / Finland / Love

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

by jen / 03/14/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Health