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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echod through the meditation chamber . If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros . FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (7261)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I felt frisky... so I did my hair and puttd on make-up and some lingerie. I walkd into the living room...here my husband was playing a video game. He glancd up... said... "Oh... fir fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes fir him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (8310)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they r made of a fish bi-product!! Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there r countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard!! FML

#20502144
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (3937)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assurd her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and muggd me. FML

#20505342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (4675)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY I WENT IN TO GET MY FIRST TATTOO. I'D PUT A LOT OF TOUGT INTO IT AND WAS REALLY EXCITED WEN TE DAY CAME. LONG STORY SORT TE CELTIC KNOT I'D GOTTEN TURNED OUT TO AVE AN ALTERNATE MEANING OF ( FEMALE SEX SLAVE. ) TE FACES MY VERY IRIS FAMILY MADE WERE BEYOND WORDS. MEGA FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (44420)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

2DAY I WAS GIVING MAH GUY A BLOWJOB !! WHEN HE BLURTD OUT, "OH JESUS" I ASSUMD I WAS DOING A GOOD JOB !! I LOOKD UP TO SEE THE EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE AN NOTICD A LOOK OF TERROR !! HE WAS STARING AT MAH GROWLING CAT, TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM CLAWING HIS FACE OFF !! FML

#20514475
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (5555)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall an I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entre house go silent, my dad an his friends included. FML

#20508952
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (54964)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, boss told me to go outside and take part in te company's stupid Harlem Sake video. Wen I declined, e treatened to fre me if I didn't take part. I ended up bieng te guy wo ad to furiously pelvic trust before te music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (6156)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

TODAY, I HAD TO USE A DICTIONARY BEFORE I REALIZD I WAS BIENG FLIRTD WITH. MEGA FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (11121)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today while riding the train home I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed I told him to be less obvious an to stop staring. He promptly responded ( Bitch I'm gay an even I can tell no one would want to look at you. ) FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13239) - you deserved it (54661)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, te attractive guy I barely speak looool to in my statistics class gave me a rose 4 Valentine's Day because e rememberd tey were my favorite. My usband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "someting pretty." FML

#20507681
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (3990)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realizd that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air looool freshener in my grlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my grlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. real FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (8141)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today , I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store cuz I would not show him my "boobies". A man cummed up to us and said I should do wat my nephew wanted. FML



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