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Tuesday 22 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33385) - you deserved it (5397)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36400) - you deserved it (2298)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29619) - you deserved it (5930)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (32158)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45718) - you deserved it (4521)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27085) - you deserved it (9600)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35409) - you deserved it (3868)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (8745)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

#20480724
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19056) - you deserved it (40457)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29773) - you deserved it (5913)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32790) - you deserved it (5239)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44208) - you deserved it (4990)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)



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