Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 18 April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

#21392817
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27957) - you deserved it (2508)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32468) - you deserved it (2261)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (2710)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (4118)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25759) - you deserved it (3253)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25402) - you deserved it (2035)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (3061)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

#21394396
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (2291)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15364) - you deserved it (20253)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26514) - you deserved it (2908)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: