Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21615) - you deserved it (31626)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35856) - you deserved it (2691)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39815) - you deserved it (3772)
On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37870) - you deserved it (2440)
On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States
Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32351) - you deserved it (1846)
On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40001) - you deserved it (3419)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28892) - you deserved it (3693)
On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32082) - you deserved it (7676)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39195) - you deserved it (3263)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33314) - you deserved it (2042)
On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)
Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35731) - you deserved it (4899)
On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32982) - you deserved it (2430)
On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41863) - you deserved it (13565)
On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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