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Friday 4 September 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

#21463092
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24344) - you deserved it (4086)

On 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by laurencoc - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (3503)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my parents made me quit a school team that I absolutely loved, because women "aren't supposed to play sports." and were worried that if I stayed on the team, I'd develop a manly physique. FML

#21463369
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25056) - you deserved it (1606)

On 09/01/2015 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got fired from my childcare job of five years because the other staff weren't as popular with the kids, so they accused me of being "creepy" because the kids all wanted to play a game with me instead of them. FML

#21463241
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23126) - you deserved it (1226)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

#21463299
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (2143)

On 09/01/2015 at 7:07am - health - by Dehydrated - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

#21463419
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (1202)

On 09/01/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by really? - United States

Today, I put aside my weekend plans to help my aunt with the extermination guy spraying her new house down to prevent cockroaches. After he left, my aunt asked me to go in and turn off the lights because the fumes were very deadly. If I chose not to, she would tell my mom I did nothing all day. FML

#21462982
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (1713)

On 08/31/2015 at 1:17pm - health - by Rakib (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

#21463927
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (1409)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my wallet was stolen from my purse at work. When I asked my boss to pull the security tape so we could identify the thief, he said, "I don't think I want to know who it is." FML

#21462817
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (1414)

On 08/31/2015 at 12:50am - work - by bgierczak2 - United States (California)

Today, I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up. We were on a train next to each other for 6 hours, to a festival where our tents were pitched next to each other. We're here for 5 days. FML

#21462968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22141) - you deserved it (1983)

On 08/31/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by NoFunForMe - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, a customer service guy called to fix a problem I've been having with my phone. When it transpired that he couldn't help, he transferred me to another representative. This other representative ended up being a John Deere dealer in Michigan. FML

#21463522
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (1171)

On 09/01/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by NotBuyingATractor (man) - United States (California)



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